Teens & Money: Designer Jeans, Coupons and Budgets

by Dr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D.sale-1430736-s

“Why do we always have to use a coupon to buy clothes?” laments my eleven-year-old daughter. “I want them today.”

“You know we have a clothing budget. We can get more for our money if we wait until the item is on sale and we have a coupon,” I try explaining once again.

“Everyone else’s mom just buys their designer jeans even if they’re not on sale,” she retorts trying for the mother guilt button.

The Budget

But this conversation changed significantly one year later when our seventh grader was given her very own clothing budget. “Mom, do you have any coupons? I need some jeans,” I proudly heard. She was allotted a monthly amount but could use up to three months of budget money at a time if necessary. Since our daughters were in year-round school, budget money for three months seemed reasonable.

Planning

No, we didn’t just give our adolescents money and let them have a free for all. We talked about special events coming up, seasonal items like coats and swimsuits, what still fits from last season, do they need new undergarments, what about shoes, ways they can update their wardrobe inexpensively, and yes, how buying items on sale and using coupons saves money.

Care of Clothes

Because they knew the cost of every item purchased, they took great care of their clothes when they began doing their own laundry at age thirteen (Laundry or Writing?).

Special Events

As they entered high school and needed dresses for special events such as the winter formal and the prom, we paid for half the dress cost up to a certain amount. Young men will need additional budget money for winter formal sports coats and renting tuxedoes for the prom.

Designer Clothes

When they wanted additional clothing or designer clothing items that cost more, they used gift money or worked for extra money. Other families we know paid up to a certain amount for clothing items, such as a pair of jean or athletic shoes, and the young person paid the difference.

How Much Money?

I’m purposely not sharing how much money we gave our daughters for two reasons. First, they are young adults and inflation has occurred since they were teenagers. Second, each family has an income; some may have a larger budget for clothing, while other families will have smaller budgets.

You may think you can’t afford to give your adolescents a clothing budget, but if you honestly track how much you spend on their clothes, shoes, undergarments, etc. it adds up quickly. The point isn’t so much about how much you allot for their budget, but teaching them the principles of money management.

Resist the Urge to Rescue

When you transition the budget responsibility to your young adults, please resist the temptation to rescue them when they spend all their clothing money and need something. They will not learn to plan ahead and use their money wisely if you rescue them.

Keep in mind that they will eventually learn to live with the consequences if you allow them opportunities to learn. And in no time, they’ll start asking, “Do you have any coupons?” and you will know you’ve done your job.

What Works for You?

How are you teaching your adolescents about money? How do you handle their clothing purchases? What lessons have your adolescents learned about money management?

Image from: Stock.XCHNG www.sxc.hu/.sale-1430736-s. Accessed 4/17/2014.

Teens & Money: To Work or Not to Work?

online-jobs-concept-1417325-mDr. Marian C. Fritzemeier, Ed.D. © 2013

Maybe you’ve asked yourself, should my teenager get a job? If and when your teenager gets a job is a controversial decision.

Many parents don’t want their young person to work and focus only on school. Others expect their teens to work and contribute to the family’s income. This has become more of a reality for many families due to the economy.

Benefits of Working

A young person working has many benefits. First, they become more financially responsible when it comes to spending “their” money. They can purchase things that are beyond the family budget, such as a car or a stereo system. Second, they can save for long-term expenses, such as college or a down payment on a car. Third, they learn how to set priorities, and manage both their money and time more effectively.

Number of Hours

A longitudinal study showed that the number of hours 10th grade and 12th grade high school students work is correlated to their grade point averages. “The determining factors seem to be the number of hours worked during a week. Students who work less than 13 hours a week in the 10th grade and less than 11 hours a week in the 12th grade perform better than students who do not work but once students exceed the number of hours per week there is a significant drop in their GPA’s compared to non-working students.” 1

Work Experience

Teens also gain valuable work experience especially if they can find work related to their interests. Many colleges ask applicants to list work experience or volunteering related to the school they’re applying to. For example, if your child wants to become a veterinarian, help them locate work with animals. If they’re headed towards a medical career, find work in a doctor’s office or hospital.

Hidden Costs

There’s a hidden cost of your son or daughter not liking their future career upon graduation. It is cost effective to insure your kids like the field they are studying. I can’t tell you how many teachers I know who earned a teaching credential, only to find out within five years of employment, they don’t really like kids. What if they found that out in advance by working in your city’s recreation department or in a children’s Sunday School class? Getting a job after a college degree and finding out they don’t like this work is extremely expensive not only financially, but in time and energy as well.

After Graduation

A final benefit of teens working is that they gain work experiences that will assist them upon college graduation. Since there’s so much competition for jobs amongst college graduates, related work experience and volunteering adds to their potential employability. Yes, there are a few disadvantages of teens working, but what they gain towards becoming a responsible adult far outweighs the cons.

Source:

  1. Quirk, Kimberly J., Timothy Z. Keith, and Jeffery T. Quirk. “Employment During High School and Student Achievement: Longitudinal Analysis of National Data.” Journal of Educational Research, 95 (2001).

Teens & Money: Who Pays for College?

accounting-calculator-and-planner-90371-m-www.whitespark.ca_College expenses are rising every year and both students and parents alike wonder how they’ll afford a college education. If you have the finances to pay for your child’s entire college expenses, please reconsider.

When Parents Pay

As a college professor I’ve witnessed the results of parents paying for their kid’s entire expenses. These students are less responsible for their education because they have no vested interest. I hear students flippantly comment, “So what if lost my textbook. Too bad I failed that class. I can just take it again. My parents will pay for…”.

Your Student’s Share

Consider allowing your student to pay for certain expenses, such as their clothing, entertainment, car payments and insurance, textbooks, course materials, or even several of these categories. It will pay off in dividends. They will become more conscientious students which ultimately results in less overall expenses. When students are vested in their education, they’re more likely to attain their goals in a timely manner.

College and Car Insurance

If your son or daughter is attending college so their car insurance is covered under your policy, within six weeks, most of them won’t be attending classes. When I meet students each semester I share, “Your parents’ car insurance won’t motivate you to arrive twice a week for an 8:00 A.M. class. You must have your own personal reasons for obtaining a college education or you’ll drop out.”

College Drop Outs

Unfortunately many young people drop out of college. A new study by Harvard University reports that, “Only 56 percent of the students who enter America’s colleges and universities graduate within six years, while only 29 percent of students who enter two-year programs complete their degrees within three years, the study found.”1

Expectations

Raising financially responsible young people is possible, but requires advanced planning. In order to train your son or daughter, you need to know what your financial expectations are for your family. Then together with your young person, you can create a financial plan that works for everyone.

Source:

1. Study: Nearly Half Of America’s College Students Drop Out Before Receiving A Degree, Travis Waldron on Mar 28, 2012, thinkprogress.org/education/2012/03. Accessed 6/10/2013.

Yard Duty and Campus Supervisors Serve on Campus’ Front Lines

The men and women whose job title is, “Yard Duty” or “Campus Supervisor,” don’t get near the recognition they deserve. Yard duty are on the “front lines” of our elementary schools while campus supervisors are on the “front lines” of junior and senior high schools.

If you want to know what’s happening at your local school site, they know. They know because they spend time with students while they’re not in classes. This includes time before school, passing periods, recesses, lunches, and after school. They are amongst different groups of students most of the day.

Changes. During the summer 2015, Modesto City Schools changed work hours and the number of yard duty at many sites. I have the privilege of working with many of the employees in these roles at 16 school sites. Yard duty and campus supervisors have a huge sphere of influence. It’s the reason so many restorative practices training hours are invested in them.

Why do they do this kind of work? A large number of them wanted to work, but also wanted to be around their own children. At last week’s training, one site had four of six yard duty who began working when their children started elementary school. Their children are now attending junior and senior high schools, but they’re still there. Why? They enjoy working with students and making a difference in their lives.

At Work. I wish you could see yard duty and campus supervisors interact with our young people. Last December, my husband had that opportunity. Our granddaughter, Khloe, was having tubes in her ears so our grandson, Parker, stayed with us. Papa took him to school in the morning. He asks, “Parker, where do I drop you off?”

“Just drive by the front and I get out,” he explains. Papa drives his car through the parking lot. A yard duty approaches the car and opens Parker’s door.

“Hi Parker. How are you? Where’s Khloe today?” she asks.

Nurturing School Climate. My husband was so impressed that she knew each of our grandchildren and called them by name. I was too. But I shouldn’t have been. Greeting each student by name is recommended as part of a positive and nurturing school climate – helping each student feel welcome and cared for at school.

Next time you see a yard duty or campus supervisor, I’m sure they’d appreciate a few kind words. After all, they have a significant impact on our students every day.

 

Image source: TK3401_and_TK3501D [commons.wikimedia.org]

Disturbed. Very Disturbed.

The recent school shootings came closer to home today. Too close. While I was helping in my grandchild’s second grade class, three boys started talking to me. One said, “A six-year-old boy was killed at school.”

I asked, “How do you feel about that?”

They all replied, “Scared.”

I’m disturbed.

For years, I’ve repeatedly listened to parents’ and relatives’ share stories about their children being bullied. Often the bullying has gone on for years. They report that the bullies who began bullying their children in elementary school continued bullying into junior high and even into high school.

I’m disturbed.

A high school employee shared about a recent incident on campus with a student who’s being bullied. The bully said, “Go ahead and cut yourself. No one cares about you anyways.”

I’m disturbed.

Then the adult added, “Some teachers won’t let students out of class to talk to someone about a bullying incident because ‘it’s just part of life.’”

I’m disturbed.

The only thing in common I keep hearing over many years seems to be the lack of school response. I can’t tell you how many times a parent or relative has told me about an incident(s) and said, “Nothing was done.”

I’m disturbed.

Last week when I was I Jacksonville, Florida for Youth for Christ’s Mid-Winter Conference, I shared my concerns with a mother who lives in Denver, Colorado. “I’m afraid it’s’ going to take a horrible shooting for the schools in the Modesto area to wake up.”

“It won’t make any difference. We have shootings almost every week,” she said.

I’m beyond disturbed. I’m shocked.

The CBS headline on February 14 was updated February 15th to read, “17 school shootings in 45 days — Florida massacre is one of many tragedies in 2018.”

Editor’s Note: “A previous version of this story, using data provided by Everytown for Gun Safety, said there were 18 school shootings in 2018. Everytown has since revised that number down to 17 after the Washington Post published an article disputing the group’s figures.”

I’m disturbed.

I’m not going to get into how many incidents were suicides, how many were accidents, how many resulted in no injuries, nor am I going to get into gun control. To be honest, I don’t really know what to do. But I do know how I feel.

I’m afraid for my three grandchildren.

I’m afraid for the three second grade boys.

I’m afraid for children in my community.

I’m afraid for America’s children.

Donald Trump said, “No child, teacher or anyone else should ever feel unsafe in an American school.”

And yet children, teachers and grandmas helping in classrooms feel unsafe.

I’m disturbed. I’m very disturbed.

For more disturbing information, visit https://www.cnbc.com/2018/02/14/florida-school-shooting-brings-yearly-tally-to-18-in-2018.html to learn more and view graphs of school shooting incidents since 2013.

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Image source: whitehouse.gov

Completing the Circle

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[www.freeimages.com] Teak Sato teamwork-1-1236470

By Dr. Marian Fritzemeier, Ed.D.

If you are working with Restorative Practices in Schools then you know that there are not as many resources for working with elementary children as there are for junior and senior high students. I discovered a booklet focused on 9 to 12 year olds by Professor Rick Kelly George Brown College in Canada that is available to print online.

Principles. Although Completing the Circle: Conferencing for Children at Risk was published in 2004, the principles are relevant today. Kelly’s focus is on children under age 12. What I found refreshing and unique is his perspective on how some child development theories align developmentally with Restorative Justice Conferencing (RJC).

Vygotsky. Child development theorist Lev Vygotsky believes children’s learning is enhanced when an adult provides “scaffolding” (or support) near to the child’s developmental ability. This expands their capacity which results in the child’s development being enhanced and supported.

Developmental Areas. Kelly also identifies a number of developmental areas children experience between the ages of 9 to 12. Children are beginning to not only understand their own perspective, but the perspective of others. They are learning to determine the difference between what is right and what is wrong. Additionally, they are responding to the feelings of others. They are motivated by positive expectations, encouragement from others, and reinforcement.

Foundation. These developmental concepts lay the foundation for children ages 9 to 12 to participate in a valuable strategy known as Restorative Justice Conferencing. This structured method brings together each person harmed by the student(s) who caused the harm and is typically facilitated by a school administrator. Causes of harm in an elementary school could be bullying, fighting, damage to property, cheating or stealing.

Voluntary. RJC requires voluntary participation by all those affected by a problem. The focused goal is repairing the harm. Students are held accountable for their actions and making things as right as possible.

Support Needed. Sometimes students invite a peer friend and other adults to support them. Parents/guardians often participate in this collaborative approach. Conferencing is an excellent method for engaging parents and families. Parents often see this as a way for their students to resolve problematic behaviors, face consequences, and become more assertive.

Effectiveness. “Restorative Justice Conferencing has been seen to be effective when used with a variety of different behaviors, in a variety of settings, with diverse cultural groups and with different age groups. A growing body of experiences and research is demonstrating the effective[ness] of such an approach as an early intervention with children under 12” (p. 7).

To learn more about conferencing with children under 12, please read Professor Kelly’s work.

 

Source: Completing the Circle: Conferencing for Children at Risk, Rick Kelly, Professor, Child and Youth Worker Program, Centre for Community Services and Development, George Brown College in Canada, 2004.

http://justusrestorativepractices.weebly.com/uploads/8/7/9/9/8799956/manual.pdf. Accessed May 11, 2015.

New Christmas Books for Children

Are you looking for Christmas books for your children or grandchildren that tell the real meaning of Christmas? Every year I update the Christmas Book List for my readers. This year I only found a few new books I liked.

I’ve loved cats since I was four-years-old so its no surprise I was drawn to The Stable Cat’s Christmas. This Christmas story is written from the stable cat’s perspective. A number of books feature animals sharing the birth of Jesus from their view but I particularly like this one because it’s a kitty. You can’t go wrong with that.

You can access the list of Christmas books that features the book’s cover, information about the book as well as a brief description of the book. I know you’ll enjoy the list with over 35 Christmas books for children.

You can access the list here. http://fromdiaperstodiamonds.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Childrens-Christmas-Books-Updated-Nov-30-2017.pdf

3 Children, 2 Grocery Carts, 1 Blessing

This is one of my favorite blogs that I’m re-posting for Thanksgiving.

After I helped in the grandkids’ classes, I stop at the corner Walmart. Near the eggs, I practically cause a mishap.

“I’m sorry, I almost ran into you,” I say to the preschooler sitting in the cart. His mom is between two carts; pushing one and pulling the other. “You’ve got a big load. That must be heavy. I don’t think I could manage that.”

I turn the corner and proceed down the next aisle.588172201_how-to-make-a-countdown-vimeo-com

With a full cart, I get in the check-out line. Moments later, the preschooler’s mom gets in line with two overflowing grocery carts. “How long have you been here?” I ask thinking it would take me forever to select that many groceries.

“Only about an hour. It used to take me longer. I’m by myself. My husband’s in Sacramento. Once I figured out where everything is that all three kids like it goes pretty fast.”

“Your husband being gone must be hard for you and your family.”

“It’s hard but I’ve realized how strong I am. He hasn’t seen the kids in two years. He’s going into an addiction program pretty soon. He drinks a lot.” She pauses and adds, “I don’t drink.”

I finish unloading my cart. “It’s probably difficult to understand his addiction since you don’t drink. How old are your other children?”

“Six and ten. Both girls.” She adds, “We get along okay.”

The clerk begins to check my groceries. “I’ll pray that it goes well for you. It will be great to have your family back together again.”

“We started going to our neighborhood church. It’s different from what I’m used to, but I like it. The kids love it.”

“Sounds like you’re doing the right things. Getting involved in the church, including God. I bet you can get lots of support there.”

She leaves to get something else to add to her cart. I stare aimlessly at the food she’s loaded onto the conveyer belt. I hear God’s voice in my head, “Fifty.”

“Huh?” I question.

“Fifty Dollars,” He explains.

I ask the clerk, “Where are the Walmart gift cards?”

“They’re on the end of aisle five.”

“I’ll be back,” I inform the clerk. I wonder why the gift cards aren’t at every register while I wedge myself between shopping carts and customers to locate a gift card several aisles over. There’s only one Santa card and several baby shower cards left. Santa will do.

I return to my cart. “I’d like $50.00 on the gift card.” After the clerk validates the card, I put it in the tiny envelope. I pay for my items. But before I leave the checkout, I walk a few feet back towards the mom.

As I stand next to her I quietly say, “Here’s a gift card for $50.00. Blessings to you.”

She gives me the warmest hug. “That is so kind of you.”

“Merry Christmas,” I reply.

I float out of the store with a smile on my face and warmth in my heart. I think to myself, a mom parenting three children by herself, two overflowing grocery carts, and one blessing. The blessing is all mine. Thanks Lord, for prompting me with fifty.

 

Image source: 588172201_How to make a countdown [https://vimeo.com/180050155]

 

Stealing My Joy

For four days, I had to cancel my restorative practices school site visits due to illness. Finally, I was  well enough to venture out one day last week.

As I approached the school, I realized that I was really excited about working with the new Intervention Center staff at the junior and senior highs. Tears brimmed my eyes.

The previous six weeks had been discouraging. A training day didn’t go well. There was miscommunication about expectations. Too many participants crammed into a training room. A few PowerPoint slides weren’t updated and caused some confusion. The afternoon sessions were split into two groups but the noise made it difficult to focus.

Some site team members barely participated. If I used proximity, they’d pretend they were doing something. They were so disruptive in the morning, I almost gave them the choice to participate or return to their campus. Looking back, I wish I had.

The challenges grew in my mind as I spent days at home not feeling well. Not having interactions with others further isolated me. I couldn’t remember when I felt so dejected.

As the first tear dropped on my cheek, I remembered something. I’m not going to let circumstances steal my joy. “Lord, thank you for the opportunity to become a restorative practices trainer and consultant four years ago. You knew it would be a perfect fit for my skills and values.”

I wiped several more tears from my face taking care not to smear my makeup. “Lord, thanks for using my education and experiences to work alongside K-12 educators.” 

As I grabbed my briefcase-like black purse from behind my seat, my excitement increased. With a bounce in my step and a broad smile, I entered the school office.

I enjoyed my interactions with the staff. I was energized and engaged. The two hours flew by.

When I returned to my car, I dialed my husband on the speaker phone. He knew by my voice that I’d had a good day. After the call ended, tears re-appeared. More tears of joy and gratitude. “Lord, I’m thankful You reminded me that my joy can’t be stolen by circumstances.”

Psalm 28:7

“The Lord is my strength and my shield;

my heart trusts in him,

and he helps me.

My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.”

 

Sources:

New International Version. https://www.biblegateway.com

neon-expression-joy-sign [public domain pictures]