I’m the Middle Born Child: The Peacemaker

by Dr. Marian Fritzemeier, Ed.D. ©2014clipart panda labeled for reuse 10 28 2014

I’m a Middle born girl. I like being a bit mysterious. When I arrived on the scene, my parents already had a perfect little boy. I watch him all the time. I wish I could do everything he can do.

Sometimes he plays with me and teaches me new things. But sometimes he complains, “Mom, Shannon’s bugging me. Make her leave me alone.” Then the fun is over.

Competitive. When he’s like that, I try and remember things I can do that he can’t. I’m very competitive. He’s such a goody two-shoes, especially in school, but I’m good at sports. Not just one sport, but several sports. I like wearing sweatshirts from my favorite teams with my jeans.

Secretly, sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough. So I don’t even try. I’m afraid I won’t do as well as my older brother.

Being Opposite. Mom says that the personality trait that defines me is to be opposite of my older brother. She calls it the “branching off effect.” She’s a college professor and she uses these big words all the time, like she thinks I understand her. She goes on and on.

“Middle borns are most directly influenced by the child older than them. The child looks at the older child, sizes up the older sibling, and patterns his life according to what he sees. Then often shoots off in another direction.”

I just want to shoot my Velcro arrows at the cat. My perfect older brother would never dare do like they’re paying attention to me for a change.

Nothing’s Fair. I’m pretty concerned about fairness, because nothing’s fair around here. I have to go to bed earlier. I have to share. I have to clean up after my youngest brother. On top of that, I get the least amount of attention from you.

Sometimes I act as the peacemaker in my family, especially between my older brother and my youngest brother. I like people to get along. I’m good at seeing both side of an issue.

Where Do I Fit? I feel like I fit in better with others outside my home. So I just create my own little family. When I make friends, I tend to keep them. I like being a peacemaker and helping people work things out. My friends like that I’m understanding, cooperative, and flexible. They always pay attention to me. They make me feel like I belong.

Dad says, “Honey, you’ll probably be a late bloomer and have a power career where you can use your negotiating skills. You’ll be prepared to become an entrepreneur or a diplomat.”

I’m not sure yet what that all means, but it sounds good when he says it. He likes using big words too even though he’s not a professor. I hope I won’t ever talk like that. Well, I gotta go. My friends are waiting for me to play soccer.

Sources:

1. Does Birth Order Really Matter? Sue Flanagan,WVU Extension Agent, Berkeley County, Patty Morrison, WVU Extension Agent, Wirt County, Extension Service, West Virginia University, 2007. www.wvu.edu/~exten/infores/pubs/fypubs/WLG_237%20Birth%20Order%20… Accessed 10/10/2014.

2. Birth Order Characteristics: Does birth order determine personality? Karen Frazier kids.lovetoknow.com??›??› Accessed 10/10/2014.

3. The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are, Dr. Kevin Leman, Revell, 1998, pp. 150-152; 165.

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